The Butchers Club Burgers

The Butchers Club Burgers

Where:
The Butchers Club Burgers
G/F, Rialto Building
2 Landale Street
Wan Chai, Hong Kong

Phone:
+852 2528 2083 (no bookings)

FYI – their website also includes a FAX NUMBER (lolz, what is this, 1984?).  Maybe you could send the Butchers Club Burgers a fax of a handwritten note saying “FEELING SKINNY, COMIN’ FOR FAT BOY BURGERS IN 10 MINS.  C U SOON HOMIES”.

Price:
HKD100 for the standard burger.  HKD20 for duck fat fries.  HKD20-30 for soft drinks.

The deal:
The Butchers Club Burgers has only just opened but that was no barrier to it being popular as fuck already with it almost being fully seated when I swung by with my Kiwi noms homie.  Casual atmosphere with a fun as fuck vibe, with the blue/white/red canvas HK bags made into blinds and pumpin’ tunes.  The menu is pretty simple but they have this SECRET MENU which you have to use a QR scanner (even though the back of the paper flyer menu is emblazoned with a massive Butchers Club logo which easily could have listed the four available SECRET MENU burgers).  My QR Scanner was out of action, so I asked our ebullient A1 waiter homie to reveal the secrets – after a bit of jesting about how he couldn’t, he highlighted the Wu Tang Burger (fried in siracha and topped with cheese, kimchi, kewpie mayo and tempura sweet potato) and the Double Happiness (pretty much a double serve of everything, which equates to the ファットー・キャントー times (that’s fatto kyunto times in Japanese in case you can’t read katakana). They’re not joking around when it comes to providing a fat boy feed here though, the lowest calorie drink option is a Diet Coke – with no option for WATER as a drink option.  Be still my beating heart (literally) – shit is getting fat in herrrrrre (so fat it hurts).

I went for the Wu Tang Burger + the triple fried duck fat fries and I got to say, the burgers here were pretty fucking impressive and as they start at HKD100, fucking great value too.  I mean, you could stumble down the road to 22 Ships and get two tiny ass fucking food for ants sliders for HKD168 or one fuck off decent beef burger here for HKD100.  You already know my views on FUCK NO, RIP OFF SLIDERS.  I loved how when my Wu Tang Burger arrived, the Korean Hipsters next to me  detected the kimchi in my burger at 20 paces and their eyes got wide as fuck as they asked me ‘Is that kimchi in your burger?!’.  I explained to them that it was from the secret menu and they looked crest fallen as they had only seen the normal menu and got normal beef burgers sans kimchi.  Don’t worry kids, happy ending to this fatty boombah fairy tale, Korean hipster homies hit up the staff for some kim chi to add to their burger.  But this was such a fuck yeah burger, you know when you eat something and you’ve just got this shit-eating grin on because you’re so fucking happy?  That was me as I smashed this juicy fucker into my my life – a beautiful symphony of dry aged Angus beef for the patty with siracha, Japanese Kewpie mayonnaise, ketchup and kimchi.  I don’t think I’d order the duck fat fries again – after the promise of thrice-fried fries, I was expecting some crunchy motherfuckers but they were a bit flaccid for my taste.  Maybe they should go all out and fry them FOUR times?? Anyway, we left approximately ZERO fries behind though, so they clearly weren’t awful either.

Special shout out to the Butchers Club Burger head hamburger homie who was just livin’ large and having a FUCK YEAH of a time.  He took our order at the table (even though that wasn’t strictly allowed) and was just living to give.  I watched the bemused Korean hipsters homies next to us ask for a fork and this dude replied “Sorry, the only forks we have here are these” while indicating hands.

Gotta mention though, as I was snacking down on this behemoth of a burger when I thought I heard the strains of Gloria Estefan’s “Turn the Beat Around” (yes, I do love to feel percussion) but then it was actually Take That’s seminal first single  “It Only Takes a Minute” and I started to think “Fuck, 90s pop + tasty as fuck burgers – this is pretty fucking unreal!!” before some cruel asshole wasn’t feeling Gary Barlow and friends and skipped the track.  FUCK NO TO SKIPPING CLASSIC 90S POP TRACKS HALFWAY – GIVE YOURSELF A CLAP FOR BEING A COCKTEASING ASSHOLE!!

garybarlow

Verdict:
A very fat, FUCK YEAH!

7 Comments
  • Beanie
    Posted at 19:58h, 10 June Reply

    Per this awesome FY review I had a Butcher Club burger today as my last meal before I go to Crossfit hell for the next month. It was possibly the best burger, & the best burger eating environment/experience in Hong Kong. Big call, but in terms of awesome finger licking burger, excellent value, & couldn’t be happier to see us staff, it’s a huge FY.

    They only opened last week so thanks for the early tip FYN.

    • sgtnoms
      Posted at 22:53h, 10 June Reply

      yo beanzzz – your crossfit homies would be horrified by this burger, no caveman would have been nommin’ down on this shit. Was the A1 Australian Waiter Homie there? He’s such a FUCK YEAH. Good luck in your month of Crossfit Hell – nothing tastes as good as lean feels? Does it?!?!?

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  • knigja
    Posted at 16:35h, 31 March Reply

    I finally went here today. Oh my, Fuck Yeah with a capital F & Y. Had the Double Happiness, was not disappointed. Shall work my way through the stupid menu in the near future.

Fuck yeah or fuck no?

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