Nosh

Nosh

Where:
Nosh (fuck yeah, functional HK website)
11 Upper Station Street
Sheung Wan, Hong Kong

Phone:
+852 2559 8508

Price:
Just under HKD200 for the big breakfast + a coffee.

The deal:
I normally find breakfast in HK really fucking dull. Add it to any Australians ‘Having a Whinge’ list in HK – “You know what I really miss about Australia. COFFEE.  And you know what else I really miss? Brunch!”.  Don’t get us going, we start to get all teary eyed over paying someone to cook us eggs, berry compotes and how much fucking choice we had at Woolworths.  Oh the meat section!  Oh the fruit & veg! Ahh, the heady life of an expat – trapped in a nostalgic reverie about a goddamn supermarket.

Snapping back to reality, I briefly contemplated the option of “Homemade Granola with Yoghurt & Fresh Fruit”.  Lolz seriously though, whoever really fucking contemplates CEREAL when eating out – boring ass lameos and fat fuckers making a half hearted attempt at healthy living, that’s who. Don’t kid yourself wannabe healthy homies, just embrace life and have some eggs at least, instead of choking down cold cereal in front of friends.  I went for the ‘Nosh brunch’ option (HKD140) – a solid feed with two poached eggs on sourdough, two German sausages with spicy harissa yoghurt, a grilled portobello mushroom, roasted cherry tomatoes on the vine and potatoes.  I was totally that hypocritical fat bastard who asked to skip the bread but then they let me sub it and of course I went for BACON. Yeah, just pour me a diet coke and bring me a slice of cake with extra cream while you’re there.  OK, I settled for a long black instead for HKD30 while trying to stop my left eye from twitching when I spotted the offer of an EXPRESSO.  Nosh, Y U spell espresso, EXPRESSO?! JUDGING YOU.

disapprove

Breakfast shouldn’t be that hard but so many people fuck it up with poorly poached eggs, sad ass tiny sausages and cheaper non-protein vegetable filler (yes, every brunch establishment that serves a flaccid flavourless grilled half tomato – I’m onto your tight ass ways). Nosh avoided these pitfalls for FUCK YEAH breakfast times – amongst appropriately yolky poached eggs was crispy bacon and two fuck yeah fatty boombah sausages satisfying all my size queen requirements.  The grilled mushroom and cherry tomatoes were actually fucking good, versus just providing a means for Nosh to dollar cost average breakfast components down.  They even thoughtfully split the cherry tomatoes to avoid inappropriate exploding tomato times.  While I may have sidestepped the sourdough bread I made sure to fall headfirst into the ‘Nosh potatoes’ – ensuring I had crispy little carbohydrate filled fuckers to fuel me through an aggressive Saturday of not hiking with Mr + Mrs Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and a rosé drinking and mahjong marathon. Get your pong on, my friends.

Verdict:
Fuck yeah!

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