Jollibee (Hong Kong)

Jollibee (Hong Kong)

Where:
Jollibee (Hong Kong)
Shop z4, G/F, Eurotrade Centre
13 Connaught Rd
Central, Hong Kong

In the alley next to World Wide House, yo.

Phone:
+852 2522 7553 (like all true trendy places in HK, I don’t think it’s a booking place)

Price:
Approximately HKD50 per person.  No service charge.

The deal:
I haven’t fucking updated in ages because I’ve been so fucking upset with all these bullshit new restaurants that I can’t face anymore goddamn Frankenasian food (seriously shichimi bone marrow sliders with shiso can fuck right off. YES CRAFTY COW, IMMA LOOKIN’ AT YOU), expensive as fuck restaurants which aren’t very good, restaurants which claim to combine “South East Asian, Hawaiian, South American and Caribbean flavors” to create a “Californian experience” (fuck off already with your kaftan wearing Repulse Bay bullshit, Limewood) or burger joints using boobies and terrible double entendres or sad looking servers wearing 50s diner outfits.

burgerstahp

So what’s the best throwback to trendy, no booking, no service charge restaurants and wankalossal food reviews?  Channelling my OpenNoms and getting my rarified ass to a no booking, no service charge fried chicken restaurant that most of you pretentious fuckers haven’t tried.  Sounds fucking perfect right for some #foodfrontiering #foodieadventures amirite or fucking what?

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IMG_0451.PNGFeeling Good and Fine for Chicken Times by SuperNomNoms

OMG guys, I finally got most enticed by the chicken smell which wafts near World Wide House and decided to try the Philippines’ most famous export (aside from San Miguel!!!) – yes the one and only Jollibee!! I cannot think of how many times I have walked past but never actually decided to try – but today was the day.

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This is the famous bee mascot, associated with Jollibee.  See how happy he is to see you at their restaurant?  Much opportunity for cute selfie with this celebrity figure of the fast food world.  Do not hesitate friends, bee bold!  (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

There is both upstairs and basement at Jolibee but nonetheless we decided to take a seat in the larger basement.  Sorry about the photo quality here – it was dark and I was in a rush so could only make do with this one here.  But this gives you good sense of the ordering set up.

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Service is quick and efficient. I decided to order the HKD46 two piece Chickenjoy meal which comes with a regular fries and a drink of your choice (+HKD2.50 to upgrade to juice or a can).  There is no option on ordering water, it is just like the Butchers Club Burger!

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IMG_0451.PNG Chickenjoy

Jollibee’s signature fried chicken seems to only come in drumstick or thigh pieces.  This quite excites me as I am not a fan of the breast.  It also comes with a peppery salty gravy which is a welcome but not necessary addition.  I very much enjoyed the Chickenjoy – crunchy on the outside and very succulent and tender on the inside. This made for a delicious if not very healthy chicken treat.

Photo of the food we ordered:

jollibee1

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IMG_0452.PNGFries

I did not think much of the Jollibee fries.  Once they cooled down, they were not that appealing  I left half my fries untouched which is quite the rare event.  I would not bother with fries next time as I prefer my fries to be a crunchful delight.

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(null) Mushroom Rice

This is a Jollibee specialty and comes as a small tub of rice with a creamy mushroom sauce on it.  I understand this is a Filipino style dish.  The mushroom sauce definitely tastes like mushroom but reminds me of condensed mushroom soup that you can get in a can. Warm and comforting, it may feel like home for many customer.

 

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Close up of the mushroom rice:

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IMG_0452.PNGJollibee Burger Steak

The burger steak is made of ground beef and is served with the same mushroom sauce as the mushroom rice.  It comes with a side of rice which was not the finest as individual grains did lack definition.  I think this dish lacked taste and texture and was not pristine and delicate enough to excite my tastebuds.
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IMG_0452.PNGHalo halo

We asked a Filipino customer next to us if Jollibee HK has halo halo (a super sweet Filipino dessert with ice-cream, red bean, tapioca pearls and flan dulce de leche to name just a few) as we could not see it on the menu.  The lady very kindly double confirm with the staff for us.  However, the staff member laugh at us quite openly, cause it is the winter there is no halo halo for us to partake in.

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Open SuperNomNom Verdict:

(null) I would definitely recommend Jollibee for when you are in the mood for some cheap though delicious fried chicken in Central!

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FYN Verdict:
FUCK YEAH CHICKEN TIMES – Jollibee’s is cheap as fuck.  Holy fucking shitballs it’s only HKD46 for a two piece meal with fries and a drink.  Such value, much chicken, wow.  Foodie Mag has totally fucked up by not including Jollibee’s seven piece bucket o’chicken for HKD98 on its list of Foods Under HKD100 That Will Change Your Life. Dem pretentious as fuck tapas dim sum bullshit baos at Man Mo Temple Cafe can fuck right off.

While the Jollibee sides may veer into Filipino throwbacks which I don’t fully appreciate, their Chickenjoy was a down and dirty fuck yeah.  I keep maintaining that fried chicken is gonna be the next steak frites/burger like trend that’s gonna hit the Kong.  To step on this shit, I’m going to open up a restaurant called ‘Sgt Noms’ Chicken Shack’ and imma gonna just buy my shit from Jollibee’s, charge people HKD158 for two pieces of chickenjoy, +HKD38 for gravy and all you foodie assholes are gonna lap that no service charge, no reservation shit up without suspecting a goddamn thing.

I can only imagine that if you were hungover, Jollibee’s chickenjoy and gravy combo would become epic next level fuck yeah shit.  I can see it right now, hunched over a table in the Jollibee’s basement with only your self loathing and exhaustion for company as you cram fried chicken into your face while Saint Chickenjoy calms your physical turmoil through his restorative chickenjoy powers before you have to return your raggedy dusty ass back to a non-descript office cubicle. PRAISE BE TO SAINT CHICKENJOY.

 

11 Comments
  • Jonathan
    Posted at 23:14h, 05 February Reply

    Check out yakiniku great. A real fuck yeah

    • Sgt Noms
      Posted at 20:46h, 07 February Reply

      yo homes, where is it?

  • Kevin Willock
    Posted at 12:14h, 06 February Reply

    Fuck ya! Fried Chicken is so utterly lacking in this city, it, and perhaps poutine are the new coming trends! I’m not talking any yakiniku of korean fried stuff here, as there’s a fair amount of great shit here already in those categories.

    • Sgt Noms
      Posted at 20:47h, 07 February Reply

      I’ve never had real poutine cause I haven’t been to Canada but I understand that getting curds is the hard part. Melting cheese on fries is not gonna cut it is what my Canadian homies tell me. Fuck, I love me some fried chicken though.

  • Kevin Willock
    Posted at 14:57h, 08 February Reply

    yeah, curds are important, I’ve thought about importing ’em. You should try a fried chicken poutine, talk about fuck ya

  • waterfallsandcaribous
    Posted at 16:24h, 05 March Reply

    I love your new style. You should totally keep it.

  • LoryM
    Posted at 16:50h, 08 March Reply

    Holy lion of Zion, Batman! There are certain food experiences in HK for which I’m too chicken: Eat ice cream from a Mr. Softy van and enter Jollybee. You are a brave, funny (and angry) soul. Keep at it and good luck on your quest for decent halo halo in Hongki Town.

    • Sgt Noms
      Posted at 20:00h, 08 March Reply

      Yo, I’d take my chances with Jollibee vs the Listeria Mobile Softserve. I had a decent halo halo in Manila and my pancrease then threatened to leave my body due to the level of sugar in it. MY DIABEETUS!

  • fuck yeah noms | Burger Circus
    Posted at 15:45h, 14 March Reply

    […] kitschy diner get up uniforms.  I even made one of their waiter homies into a STAHP meme in my Jollibee‘s review.  After we’re seated and our waiter swings by, I instantly realise that […]

  • A Fuck Yeah Noms review - Mr Korea Chicken
    Posted at 20:40h, 25 March Reply

    […] Verdict: Fuck no – I wish I could have my calories back so I could spend those bad boys at Jollibees instead. […]

  • “Jollibee Chicken Joy”, the best fried chicken in Hong Kong — Food bloggers – Kicker Daily News | Ang Kwan
    Posted at 21:14h, 15 March Reply

    […] another food blogger, Sgt. Noms from Hong Kong said in his article, “I very much enjoyed the Chickenjoy – crunchy on the outside and very succulent and tender on […]

Fuck yeah or fuck no?

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