Twenty Point Hipster Restaurant Checklist

Twenty Point Hipster Restaurant Checklist

  1. Does the restaurant have a ‘no booking’ policy
  2. Do the waiters have tattoos?
  3. Do the waiters have regrettable star tattoos?
  4. Do the waiters have thick rimmed glasses?
  5. Do the waiters have moustaches?
  6. Do the waiters have outlandish haircuts (erratic shaved areas, quiffs, gelled hair all apply)?
  7. Do the waiters have ear gauges (the large hole type earring in their lobes)?
  8. Is the menu or website available in two colours only, preferably a wood block cut style?
  9. Does the menu have pork belly and gets involved in pork wank?  Bonus points if they refer to rinds/crackling as ‘scratchings’.
  10. Do you have to queue to get in?
  11. Does the chef participate in special vs ‘wars’ with other chefs? Ie Pork War, Burger War
  12. Are overpriced mini burgers / sliders available for outlandish prices?  Bonus points if they include truffles.
  13. Do they encourage share plates / family style dining?
  14. Is it ‘no service charge’ which means your obligated to tip over and above the already inflated prices?
  15. Are there retro advertisements / posters on the wall? You know, porcelain faced Chinese women selling soap?
  16. Does the menu refer to tomatoes as ‘heirloom’?
  17. Does the restaurant claim to riff on street food, taquerias or South East Asian food?
  18. Does the front of house make it feel like you’re doing him/her a favour by showing up and daring to ask for a table?
  19. Do the dessert options include a deconstructed or smashed up classic? You know what I mean, a piece of meringue smashed around the plate with some microbasil on the side.
  20. Do you feel like you’re close to bankruptcy when you leave and you’re possibly still hungry?
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3 Comments
  • Little Bao | fuck yeah noms
    Posted at 22:56h, 27 November Reply

    […] LITTLE Bao.  The hipster force is large and in charge at Little Bao, easily crossing off 14 of my 20 point Hipster Restaurant Checklist and on a MONDAY night at 8pm, we waited almost 50 minutes to get a seat.  The food was fucking […]

  • Stone Nullah Tavern | fuck yeah noms
    Posted at 16:13h, 15 March Reply

    […] deal: Stone Nullah Tavern definitely ticks some of the hipster checklist – no service charge, nose-to-tail eating, modern take on American comfort food, interesting […]

  • Ho Lee Fook | fuck yeah noms
    Posted at 22:11h, 31 July Reply

    […] egg, cucumber and Chinese olive leaf.  UH OH, use of heirloom – tick another one off the hipster checklist.  But it was delicious as fuck and a good light primer before MEATAGEDDON.  The beef wagyu short […]

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