Cookieboy HK

Cookieboy HK

Where:
Cookieboy HK
Tong Chong Street Markets (Every Sunday til the end of 2015)
Outside the PCCW Tower, Taikoo Place
Quarry Bay, Hong Kong

FYN Note:  Cookieboy are only there every other Sunday, so check Cookieboy’s FB for details to avoid fuck no disappointment.

Cookieboy is also available at Sunday’s Grocery (66-68 Catchick Street Kennedy Town, Hong Kong) but I’m still growing my manbun so I ain’t ready for that hipster bullshit yet.

Phone:
N/A

Price:
HKD20 each or HKD100 for six.

The deal:
One of HKs overlords, Swire, have started a new Sunday market on Tong Chong Street, just outside Taikoo Place / PCCW Tower.  Given that HK is no longer in the grip of an insanely hot Summer, I dragged myself down there vaguely hopeful that I might get something fun for lunch.  I gotta say, I am totally behind the concept of these sorts of events in HK because fuck yeahhhh, I can get behind organic vegetable stores and small food production outlets trying to make a go of it in HK.  However, in execution, I’m not sure Tong Chong St Market got its shit right because after a loop around the market site all I saw was stall after stall of expensive, sad-ass sandwiches that were trying too hard, such as soggy ass chicken waffle sandwiches and vegan everything fun-free banh mis.  To add fuel to my emotional state, I then ran across the BLOGGER SQUAD who were getting dragged around en masse with their huge-ass cameras as stall holders gave them loud food fact chats via a megaphone, as the Blogger Squad nodded sagely and took down notes regarding all of these fuck no looking sandwiches which had been staged for them in the middle of a reserved media table. I hate-crashed the media table to get this pic of the Bread and Beast beef tongue and cheese roll that was waiting for its Insta Foodie moment, replete with its plastic cheese and fuck no looking bread – SHAME SHAME SANDWICH SHAME:

breadbeast

gotshame

But like a bastion of hope, blinking through all the carb related sadness there is one non-vegetable related stall that is worth the trip to Tong Chong St Markets and that’s Cookieboy.  Cookieboy was founded by Ryan Zimmer who has a shit tonne of pastry experience, and was most recently the Executive Pastry Chef for the JW Marriott HK. After quizzing the Cookieboy homies as to which cookie was their best one and getting an answer almost equivalent to “I love all my children equally!”, I decided that the best decision was to make no decision and to get a Mixed Batch bag, which gives you one cookie of each flavour.  I immediately called up Ms Two Serves so we could meet up for Cookie Judgment Day.  Overall, we fucking loved them.  What I fucking loved the most about all of Cookieboy’s cookies was that they’re soft, chewy fuckers.  No hard cookies here which means that they do not transport that well and will break apart quite easily by the time you get them home.  However, I’m willing to sacrifice structural integrity for a chewy fuck yeah texture.  It’s time to check out FYN’s ranking of the Mixed Batch sampler from FUCK YEAHHHH to fuck yeah:

  1. Peanut Butter:  This PB cookie might not be much to look at, but it promises “chewy peanut butter goodness”. I’m a total slut for peanut butter and chewy cookies so it’s pretty obvious that I’m gonna give this one a massive FUCK YEAH.  Let’s be real, who doesn’t want to eat a chewy peanut butter loaded cookie which gives you every excuse to get your homies involved just so you can ask them “HOW DO YOU LIKE DEEZ NUTS?”
  2. Apple Pie:  This is a seasonal special so I have no fucking idea how long it’s going to be around for.  Which is potentially a bit sad because who wants something this good to ever come to an end??  While the cinnamon Snickerdoodle cookie might form the solid as fuck foundation that this seasonal FUCK YEAH cookie is built upon, it’s the semi-dehydrated apple chunks and brown sugar streusel which gives you dem Autumnal feels. So bye, bye, Miss American Pie, got my cookie from my homies and the Fall feels were fucking FINE.
  3. Macadamia White Chocolate:  I am not sure how the financial metrics work when trying to produce an Australian macadamia cookie in HK which only sells for HKD20 because the last time I merely looked at a bag of Australian macadamias at Wellcome Supermarket I almost had to immediately declare bankruptcy.  Regardless, the caramelised flavours are strong and so are my fuck yeah feelings.
  4. Oatmeal and Raisin:  Oatmeal is healthy for you, isn’t it?  Lowers cholesterol and all that good shit.  Perhaps it’s not so beneficial for your health once you start mixing in butter, sugar and all that good shit.  But it sure makes it fucking delicious.  It’s like breakfast, but actually interesting.  Fuck yeahhhh.
  5. Chocolate Chunk:  Ms Two Serves was into this one and declared “Sometimes, all you need is a choc chip cookie”.  While I can appreciate her purist approach to cookie life, clearly I’m a fussy fucker who prefers fancy tricks like dehydrated apple chunks and Australian macadamias. While the Chocolate Chunk was still rad, I just wanted the chunks to be a bit bigger and offer a bit more texture.
  6. Double Chocolate Chunk:  Look, some of my best friends are black but I was just the least excited by this one.  Dark as night and chocolatey as fuck, I just wanted more from my cookies than chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.  But I get it, some homies just wanna rock out with their choc out – and if you’re that sort of homie this one is totally gonna be your fuck yeah chocolate time jam.

Cut to me half a week later and my Mixed Batch paper bag was down to a few woeful crumbs.  You better believe that I shamelessly used a spoon to scoop out every possible cookie crumb into my life.  When I could scoop no more, I aggressively tipped the bag directly into my mouth.  Of course, this is where my fuck no lack of coordination resulted in Cookieboy crumbs overshooting my face and falling wastefully straight down my shirt.  It was at this point that I was left with no other option but to fall down to the now crumb covered floor, arch my back like a wild animal and howl desolately, mouth in rictus, as I contemplated sadly the cookie-less void my life had now become. IT’S ALL TOO SAD, HOMIES. LET US PRAY.

cookiemonsteraddict

Verdict:
FUCK YEAHHHHH get involved homies because as I always maintain, carb life = best life, and who doesn’t wanna be living the best life??

2 Comments
  • Sarah
    Posted at 08:17h, 30 October Reply

    ” Look, some of my best friends are black” <– You're a crack up. another stellar post. Now where can i get me some cookie crack in old sydney town 🙁

    • Sgt Noms
      Posted at 16:48h, 31 October Reply

      fuck yeahhhhhh thanks for the kind words homie. surely there are fuck tonnes of hipster biscuit purveyors in Sydney town though??

Fuck yeah or fuck no?