Sham Tseng

Where:
Yue Kee Roasted Goose Restaurant
9 Sham Hong Road, Sham Tseng
New Territories, Hong Kong

Phone:
+852 2491 0105

Price:
HKD250 for half a roast goose (which is fucking huge).  Approximately HKD120 a person for everything else + beers.

The deal:
So, we ended up in Sham Tseng post a fucking massive six hour Sunday hike, with three of those hours hiking through a stream.  Which sounds idyllic as fuck, until you realise it actually involved clambering through algae covered slippery rocks, scaling overgrown side tracks, grabbing tree branches that turned out to be thorny fuckers, bugs biting the shit out of our legs and then dat HK summer sun continued to be hot as balls.  Context y0, we’d also been promised a three hour hike involving gentle slopes (um, of the incline variety not of the racial epithet variety).

In order to sustain ourselves through this leisurely weekend activity, we motivated ourselves with the promise and dreams of Yue Kee Roast Goose and icy cold Kirin beer.  Roast Goose is a bit of a big deal in the Kong and I always get really fucking upset when people (generally tourists and white folk) announce that they want to try Yung Kee so they can have (allegedly) the best roast goose in HK. Almost every single Singaporean has fallen into this trap and they even get roast goose vacuum packed so they can enjoy more mediocre roast goose in the comfort of their chewing gum free, country.  Catch no ball, my Singaporean homies – Y U continue to love Yung Kee so much?

Aside from all those “Top Restaurants in HK” lists which seem to automatically include Yung Kee (hot FYN tip:  If you see Yung Kee on the list, you should discount the list as fucking invalid and write that shit off, especially if they declare themseles to be a HK Local Expert) – another Yung Kee wankfest which makes me ball tearingly fucking angry is this Esquire video which features some snuffly American asshole losing his shit over Yung Kee’s roast goose, plumply declaring “I’ve been eating Cantonese BBQ my whole life, and I’ve never had anything like this“. Hey asshole, did you forget to add the fucking qualifier that you’ve probably been eating Cantonese BBQ NOT in HK / Guangdong for most of your life, so your opinion isn’t really too fucking valid?  Then he rounds off with “It’s worth coming to HK for” – O RLY, IS THAT WHAT YOUR JUNKET LADEN ASS THINKS, right before the logo of the HK Tourism Board and the “special thanks” to Yung Kee flashes in the credits.

When we got off the mountain we made our dreams come true, Yue Kee’s roast goast is legit – a fatty fucker with crispy skin and fucking juicy as meat, replete with home made plum sauce.  Half a goose was fucking huge too and while some pieces were inevitably bony, but DWI motherfuckers cause such is the fate of eating goose.  I have to qualify that perhaps my judgment is somewhat clouded given the extreme amount of physical activity that I’d endured in the shameless endeavour just to allow me to smugly point out to my colleagues on Monday with a beatific smile and an exalted, superior as fuck tone that “There’s so much of the real HK out there, but you just have to make the effort to find it“.

Aside from the duck, the other dishes were your standard Chinese fare.  We went with the sweet and sour pork, vegetables and nothing too out of the ordinary.  Except when someone on our table insisted on getting the Sichuan Style Deep Fried Salt + Pepper Prawns and shit hot damn, we ended up ordering another serve of those crispy, numbing chilli tinged bastards.  Despite being full as fuck at the end, I was still taking that pepper / chilli / black bean mix and eating it with rice because that spicy shit was just too fucking good to waste.

There is nothing fancy about Yue Kee, so if you’re coming for friendly staff and trendy ambience, you’re probably in the wrong fucking place. But if you’re after stark fluorescent lighting, brusque staff, fuck yeah roast goose + Sichuan prawns then get fucking involved if you just happen to be in the hood.  Check out the detailed as fuck transport options on their website on how to get here – but note that they haven’t listed the six hour stream hike as a transport option just yet.  I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s the Best Goose in all of HK but it’s fucking better than that basic bitch, Yung Kee.

Verdict:
Fuck yeah!  I don’t think I’d fucking trek all the way out for it in Sham Tseng but if you happened to be in the hood, get this shit into your life.

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