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stop-sign-hits-weather-reporter

I really don’t fucking get it.  Why do people use RESTO instead of the very decent and etymologically correct RESTAURANT?  Every blogger and their beautiful cute as fuck dog is using resto this, resto that and I am done with this shit.  It’s only a fucking saving of five letters and LBR, given the amount of time they put into looking up adjectives for ‘gorgeous’, ‘magnificent’ and ‘delectable’, I don’t get why the last syllable or extra letters have to be cut off for an ‘o’.  It makes people sound so fucking stupid and I just imagine some sappy faced girl sitting on her macbook, pinning stupid shit pictures of her dream wedding (OMG guys just gorgeous, CHALKBOARD with an inspirational quote and Nick + Sarah = FOREVER, WAIT EVEN BETTER, ‘The sweetest thing is love’ in chalky cursive with an arrow pointing to a mother fucking candy buffet) and 20 body-weight workouts that will torch thigh fat to her Pinterest and then switching tabs to blog about some cute, neighbourhood RESTO they went to last night before signing off as Foodie Girl xoxo.

Just cannot.  FUCK NO TO RESTO BEFORE PEOPLE START CALLING MAIN COURSES MAINOS.

seinfeld-not-impressed

Oh hell nawwwwwwww, I mean sure, I’d fucking love to spear that pressurised cooked cherry tomato and have it spill its stupid ass pomodoro guts all over my goddamn shirt.

WHAT DO WE SAY TO THE GOD OF DEATH?

NOT TODAY.

lyingfuck

Where:
Fu Lu Shou
L7, 31 Hollywood Rd
Central, Hong Kong

Phone:
+852 2336 8812 (you need to call weekly to get the door code, hip as fuck, y0)

Price:
??? – will fill you in later, but my glass of wine didn’t break bank (HKD85).

The deal:
I was all ready to hate and judge Fu Lu Shou as painfully hip and trying too hard with their weekly changing door code and homage to old school Australia Asian snacks (ie. spring rolls, tasty as fuck chicken wings, prawn toasts (I mean COME ON, deep fried white bread with prawn and sesame seeds!!! GET IN MY LIFE) and deep fried tofu – but Fu Lu Shou, let me be real with you, you need to serve this shiz with some plum sauce, that’s gonna take your Oz Azn snacks to the next level) but even a jaded bon vivant (I’ve noticed everyone’s calling themselves a bon vivant these days – isn’t it just a fancy term for a greedy cunt who likes to party?) can still enjoy this tricked out pony.  It’s a fuck yeah space, their waiters/barstaff have great Strayan strines and there’s a super chill as fuck rooftop with Asian influenced graffiti to boot.  They serve champagne in those retro wide mouthed champagne glasses – I want to hate this shit but I can’t deny it, I fucking loved it.  I smashed the prawn toast and the waiter made me (yes, made me) eat approximately 300% more fried tofu with chilli + garlic than any one else there.

NGL, I DIDN’T SAY NO OR TELL HIM TO STOP.

Verdict:
Fuck yeah!!!  You’ll be able to take friends here and they’ll love it and think you’re so fucking cool for school because it’s new and in soft launch.  You’ve got til 11th May to tell people ‘Yeah, I fucking know a place…’

SAUCE

azizcashmoney

 

Noticed that this appears to be the new normal.  HKD140 (+10% service charge) for nothing special cocktails – that’s almost USD20 a pop. Cocotte, Lily & Bloom, Blue Butcher – imma looking at you (just to name a few).  What is this, a mining town?? My Perth homies are going to relate to that. FUCK NO.

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I fucking love animals (for dinner) but I’m still enjoying Last Night a DJ Ate My Slice.  I will confess, I was browsing it while snacking down on deep fried takoyaki octoballs in Tokyo.  Gotta slow down on the noms, but lucky I’ve got a backlog of reviews to post.  STAY TUNED HOMIES.

SAUCE

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